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Well, doesn’t everybody love the thrill of a new match? That little dopamine hit when a notification tells you that someone likes you? Feels amazing, right?
But ask yourself, is the excitement about the person or the match?
Or more specifically, are we actually looking for love, or just chasing the next win like a gambler in a casino?
This analogy isn’t far-fetched.
The Dating Apps employ the same rewarding systems that are at play when you sit in front of a slot machine.
If you think we’re exaggerating, consider this- A lawsuit has been filed in the US against the Match group (which owns Tinder and Hinge) for using designs that encourage addiction and compulsive behaviour.
What makes the Dating Apps addictive?
The reason why dating apps can be addictive for some people is because of their variable reward system, or Intermittent Reinforcement.
Intermittent reinforcement involves rewarding the behaviour of a person at irregular intervals, to release dopamine, and keep them engaged in the activity.
It was first tested on rats in the 1950s, which revealed that when the rewards were given randomly or intermittently instead of regularly, the subjected rats worked longer.
This concept was cunningly used by Casinos to keep people from leaving, by rewarding them when it was sensed that they were likely to leave.
Later, it was incorporated into social media apps through what we now know as the Hook Model to increase stickiness and retention on the platforms.
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Here’s how the Hook Model works for Dating Apps:
1. There’s a Trigger: A notification intended to grab your attention is sent. Consider this the notification you get from Hinge informing you that your “Most Compatible” matches are refreshed.
2. Taking Action: Then, you’re prodded to take an action on the trigger. Think of how many times you chose to click on that notification and decided to browse through those profiles, or send them a “Rose” or Superlike.
3. Getting rewarded: Sometimes, this action of yours would turn into a reward in the form of a match, giving you that dopamine rush and reinforcing your faith that the system works.
4. Encouraging Investment: When you’re engaged, you would be encouraged to further invest in the apps by purchasing premium or add-on services to increase your chances of finding love.
When these 4 factors are repeated in a loop, a conducive ground is created for habit formation. The variability of a match is a crucial factor in this process, which ensures that the user keeps engaging in the anticipation of finding their most suitable partner.
What further aids in the process are internal triggers like loneliness, boredom, and the hope to find “the one”, along with the validation one receives as a reward upon matching with a person.
Is Dating App Addiction Harmful?
Addiction to Dating Apps is classified as Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD), along with other social media apps that utilise such variable rewarding systems to increase user engagement.
It has been found that addiction to such online platforms causes similar changes in the brain activity of users, as is observed among drug addicts.
Further, constantly being on these apps hampers cognitive abilities, including decision-making, along with a higher likelihood of being diagnosed with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and depression.
But the effects aren’t merely psychological.
When Dana Hamilton, a writer based in New York got addicted to swiping on Tinder, she mentioned how it affected her both mentally and physically.
“I felt a shooting pain travel up my right thumb to my wrist and radiate up my forearm. The pain was so sharp and came so quickly, tears sprung to my eyes.” she wrote in her account of struggling with addiction to Tinder.
And guess what?
Multiple users formerly addicted to Dating Apps have shared how increased use of Dating Apps didn’t necessarily translate into a higher likelihood of finding love. Instead, it kept them far away from it. [1] [2] [3]
But all this seems to be inconsequential when the money rolls in.
The Interface for Addiction, erm, we mean Engagement
Recent news reports and in-depth analysis of popular Dating Apps reveal that they’re doubling down on increasing user stickiness instead of addressing the fact that a higher platform engagement is counterproductive for the goal of finding love.
The lawsuit filed against Dating Apps claims that the platforms gamify the pursuit of finding a partner, which turns users into gamblers locked in with trickling rewards from time to time, while people they could be compatible with are kept elusive to them.
What’s more interesting is that the co-founder of Tinder Jonathan Badeen revealed in a documentary that the platform’s swiping feature was inspired by an experiment conducted by psychologist B.F. Skinner that ‘turned pigeons into gamblers’ using Intermittent Reinforcement.
Further, Tinder’s matchmaking algorithm now prioritises active users, upending the earlier Elo system in place.
In a detailed blog on Bumble’s new features and interface modifications, it’s argued that its BFF feature and easy mode-toggling are designed to increase engagement and retention. Something that seems to be working as well.
But this does not mean that (all) Dating Apps are inherently bad. Instead, they could be useful tools for forming meaningful relationships.
Love in the Digital Era
A recent Pew Survey on the dating dynamics in the US revealed that around 30% of adults used Dating Apps to find love. Out of those, around 10% of respondents met their then-partner through a Dating App.
So it isn’t like that the apps aren’t working, it’s just that they’re not working as effectively and efficiently as desired.
What seems to have taken place is the subversion of the goal of connecting people due to profiting opportunities.
While one has to use the apps responsibly to avoid addiction, it should be the onus of Dating Apps to ensure that their platforms actually facilitate love, instead of engagement.
This can be done by breaking the cycle of rewards, and integrating both online and offline channels for matchmaking.
For example, Dating Apps can facilitate offline meetings/dates of matches, prod them to take time off the app with customisable screen time limits, or even partner with mixers and meetup groups to let love bloom organically.
So, technology isn’t the enemy, its misuse is.
If dating apps truly prioritised love over engagement, they could become what they were meant to be: a bridge to meaningful relationships, not an endless game of swipes and matches.
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